i handle failure about as properly as a man handles a hooker.
can't imagine settling a land or even changing a habit- breaking or conquering.just doesn't happen when tears come from
oversleeping,
missing a workshift,
then locking the keys in the car.

maybe i'm doomed to childhood.

Thoughts

She worked in a nursing home where death was just the end part of life. nothing more, nothing less.

All Dressed Up And...

I am Sartorialist perfect, new skirt, leather back, jewels on my sandals and gold metal threaded through my hair. take my picture, come and admire.

the paparazzi style flash photograph me as i run
into
my
parents
dirty
minivan

I am 18 and in 37 days I will be 19. It is the weekend and-
no,i'm not going to be a member of the girls=-gone-wild faction of the "FREAAK OUUT PT 2!" party invitation I got on Facebook.

i.am.going.with.my.family.

To where, we don't even know, cuz we can't decide and everyone from little brother up through mother has their opinion and its now an hour later and i'm still sartorial clad in the middle of a bench seat with fastfood wrappers on it waiting for mom to give the dog her medication.

verse

paper lanterns
glow so softly
catch on fire
quickly too.
write my dreams in
paper lanterns
and hope they don't
burn you.

Movie Review: Alice In Wonderland

Movie: Alice in Wonderland
Starring: Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter

Anyone who knows me is aware of my absolute respect and awe of Johnny Depp. I love his acting, his creativity, his clothing, his voice, his hair, beautiful face and body, bizarre movie roles, his facial expressions, his quirky ideas, bashful red carpet presence,thoughtfulness, his secret hideaway island, paintings...quite nearly everything.

so you can imagine delighted I was that this Alice version was coming out. Directed by Tim Burton, I was certian it could be nothing but fantastically strange.

Wrong.

I am very crushed and reluctant to admit that it was very poor. So unoriginal! The plot was not according to the Alice book, but a very forced and old story line of rescuing the land from the "evil red queen" to give back to the "peaceful white queen," the rightful owner. yawn!
Alice staples were all included: talking flowers, Tweedledum and Tweedledee, the chesire cat, white rabbit, all the trimmings..but in EXACTLY the same manner they are presented in every other Alice version! Nothing stood out.

The script was edited to give Johnny maximum performance. The Mad Hatter's role was widely expanded to a sort of leader for the red queen resistance. I am devastated to say I saw nothing new in him. I mean, he had all the facial expressions, and odd walking I so familiarly love, but he added nothing NEW to it! Almost as if he was just riding his own success-which is nothing like the Mr. Depp I love. He had a few great moments, yes, and his character wore thimbles on his fingers (love!), so there were some redeeming factors, but so much fewer than I expected!

This is long for a movie review, I know...but there you go! I take it so personally that this movie was so unoriginal and flat. I have faith in these creators- they have life and spark! I've seen past work-Edward Scissorhands is relentlessly captivating-and I know they're capable of better.
So why, why, did they settle for this?
Why does anyone settle? WHAT GOOD IS SETTLING!!!???

Jamacian

“Will you wait for me?”
“No.”
“but I’m scared”
But you’ll go alone.
Eyes don’t open.
Eyes can’t open.
Back dots in brown circles on white balls
And you shake it till it dies
Because it was never alive, anyway.
And why can you keep pushing and persisting
And I can’t get out of bed
And you’ll never stop
And I’ll never win
And I don’t even know the game we’re playing.
Assert: “you’re sensual”
Reply: “I like to feel”
“no black dots in brown circles on white balls for you-
You’re aware. Sensual”
“I like to feel.”
“and you can and you’re alive
Red, blue, orange swirl
Float on color.
Rough, smooth, silk, stone,
Rub your skin.”
“Did you know how much I love
A squirt of lemon on my tongue?
Jolt, jingle, refresh, awake.”
“And you can feel it all.” and she’s jealous
And he wanders into the night
To enjoy the touch and taste and smell and color of air.
And he smiles
And she’s jealous.

Blog Lovin

Follow my blog with bloglovinof

Apparently, Blog Lovin is useful for spreading your blog and making it easier for others. I have no idea. There are so many things going on online all at the same time...it feels really overwhelming, sometimes. How can you keep up with everything? The internet is wildly huge. So much going on, every second, somebody screaming out to the world their latest ideas and thoughts. Somehow, some of them rise to the top, make money off of endorsements and get book deals/front row fashion seats/art gallery expos/famous. Who wins, and why?

Some days I just sit at my computer, clicking "next blog" over...and over...and over...until my mind is swimming. Everyone is saying something, in hundreds of different languages, in thousands of little towns. And what does it matter? and who really notices? and am i just another little cry into the blackness of cyberspace?

Well, that's just my little rant. Taking even my blog internally, eh? Well its what I do.