Snow

I've been the girl who hated snow for a long time. I really have. I hated cold and ice and everything that went with it. I insisted on being mad and pouty every time the winter season came around, feeling somehow entitled to my misery because it made me shiver and stay inside.

I was fully expecting to be the same this year, miserable in bed just waiting for the first spring melt before I would allow myself to even smile again.

But something happened. I'm not quite sure what. I think I'm okay with life now!

Sitting at work, waiting for customers to come in, I stared outside at the constant snow. And I realized how beautiful it was. It was fresh and pure and crisp and new. I wanted to go out and run around in it. Of course, I couldn't, I was working a double shift, but I watched it all day and into the night. It kept getting deeper and deeper and fell in bigger and bigger flakes. All I could think of was getting off work to go run in it, stomp boots into the whiteness. What!?! Me liking the snow? Unheard of.

Somehow, slowly, I am changing. My inner person is becoming steadier. Nothing important happened, nothing memorable. I'm just simply adjusting to the simple fact of "this is your life." Its one life in a million lives, one little voice. Life is what it is, just living. Its okay if I'm not spending every second changing the world. I don't have to be impatient with the uselessness of another week of homework. Things are a process, a slow growth. The process isn't horrible, because everything just isn't as intense as I was trying to make it. Daily routine is alright, not something to loathe. Little things can be enjoyed. Little things don't have to drive you crazy. Its a bigger picture. A bit of perspective.

Bottom line, its okay.

And snow is really pretty.