Movie Review: Burn After Reading

Burn After Reading

Starring: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand

I had pretty simple reasons for wanting to see this film; I love Brad Pitt and I'd always wanted to see a Cohen brothers film. I've been reading reviews on their movies for years, but never actually watched one, because they were all so dark! I almost always hate dark films.

Burn After Reading, though also dark, was also supposed to be a bit of a comedy, and starred my beloved Brad, so I decided to give it a try.

Bad plan.

I laughed a total of three times-solely when Brad was shown in a brilliant performance as a gym-instructor simpleton.

The rest of the film misery. It told an involved story intertwining 6 middle-aged people, all going through some kind of crisis.

George Clooney's character is a cowardly philanderer trying to keep all his middle-aged women pleased with him at once.

Tilda Swinton's character is a snappy, sour woman who despises her husband and actually believe's Clooney's character will eventually marry her.

John Malkovich's character, Tilda's husband, has been recently fired and is furious with the world.

Frances McDormand's character is a pathetic single woman also working at the gym, and also one of Clooney's lovers, hoping to get plastic surgery and reinvent herself.

Somehow, when Frances and Brad find what they think is a CD containing high-security CIA information (Tilda stole the information from her husband's computer in an attempt to get a divorce, and accidentally left it at the gym), they try to use their find to sell it for money. Through a series of stupid confusions, half of the characters end up dead by the end of the movie, in a frantic chase for what is really nothing but Malkovich's bitter memiors of his job.

The movie ends with two CIA agents, trying to understand the whole mess and put it behind them permanently, sitting in an empty office.

"And what have we learned from all this?" one asks. The other shakes his head, replying

"Jesus Fucking Christ. I have no idea."

Which pretty sums up the whole movie. 1 2/3 hours of selfish, shallow, foul-mouthed idiots.

I will admit I loved Brad's character in it, and almost found it worth it for him. He plays a quirky, loveably loser with such believable facial expressions and manner of talking I swear everybody will think of someone they know. Just him constantly chewing gum made me laugh.

I have no idea what Ethan and Joel Cohen were thinking, I suppose to expose the darkness and gloom of middle-aged bitterness. I'm sorry for them.