Discipline

So lately I've been thinking about discipline. I like to think of myself as a person with self control, but when it comes right down to it, I have to acknowledge I have very little.

I hate that about me.

Okay, I live on a farm. Its not a working farm, but we have some random animals, and in my fantastical imagination of Farmgirl Kate, I go out in the snow and rain to feed the chickens, lug 10 gallon buckets of water out to the pens, and pull weeds in the blazing sun. The truth is, I rarely help out with animal chores. And if I do, I complain about the effort.

I'm naturally a very fit person. I'm really thin and have toned arms and legs and that little line down my stomach that's the beginning of a six pack. So, in my fantastical imagination of Healthy Kate, I have physical ability and strength. I'm capable of physical effort, carrying heavy items or running a couple of miles. The truth is, I am out of breath after climbing stairs. And I've never been able to make myself actually stick to an exercise routine for more than a week.

I love music. I always have. I want to be able to play an instrument very badly. I have all the equipment to learn both guitar and piano-and even access to people who could help me. I've begun to learn countless times. My eagerness lasts a few practice sessions, and then I get discouraged by my lack of progress and give up. I've never held to it.

And then I look at people dairy farmers waking to milk at 4:30 daily, Olympians who spend hours a day pressing their bodies, musicians who devote their life to the perfection of playing their instrument. I get so furious! These people have disciplined their bodies to do what is best long run, ignoring the pain or frustration of the moment. They look straight past that to the future, to the resulting effects, and keep on pressing. They force themselves, no questions asked, no room for complaint. I'm envious of them. Their strength, their control, their ability. These are the people that change the world.

These are the people who make the difference.

These are the people who have the power.

What do they do? What is their secret? What is behind that drive?

If I could have any talent or skill in the whole world, it would simply be that: discipline.

But I have no clue how to get it.