Movie Review: Alice In Wonderland

Movie: Alice in Wonderland
Starring: Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter

Anyone who knows me is aware of my absolute respect and awe of Johnny Depp. I love his acting, his creativity, his clothing, his voice, his hair, beautiful face and body, bizarre movie roles, his facial expressions, his quirky ideas, bashful red carpet presence,thoughtfulness, his secret hideaway island, paintings...quite nearly everything.

so you can imagine delighted I was that this Alice version was coming out. Directed by Tim Burton, I was certian it could be nothing but fantastically strange.

Wrong.

I am very crushed and reluctant to admit that it was very poor. So unoriginal! The plot was not according to the Alice book, but a very forced and old story line of rescuing the land from the "evil red queen" to give back to the "peaceful white queen," the rightful owner. yawn!
Alice staples were all included: talking flowers, Tweedledum and Tweedledee, the chesire cat, white rabbit, all the trimmings..but in EXACTLY the same manner they are presented in every other Alice version! Nothing stood out.

The script was edited to give Johnny maximum performance. The Mad Hatter's role was widely expanded to a sort of leader for the red queen resistance. I am devastated to say I saw nothing new in him. I mean, he had all the facial expressions, and odd walking I so familiarly love, but he added nothing NEW to it! Almost as if he was just riding his own success-which is nothing like the Mr. Depp I love. He had a few great moments, yes, and his character wore thimbles on his fingers (love!), so there were some redeeming factors, but so much fewer than I expected!

This is long for a movie review, I know...but there you go! I take it so personally that this movie was so unoriginal and flat. I have faith in these creators- they have life and spark! I've seen past work-Edward Scissorhands is relentlessly captivating-and I know they're capable of better.
So why, why, did they settle for this?
Why does anyone settle? WHAT GOOD IS SETTLING!!!???

Movie Review: What's Eating Gilbert Grape

What's Eating Gilbert Grape

Starring: Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Juliette Lewis

My movie favorite list has been pretty permanent for some time...the last time i changed was several months ago when I added East Of Eden. Since then, most of the happy-ending movies were pithy, and the artistic movies were depressing. I need both.

YES!

What's Eating Gilbert, I will disclaim right at the front, is not a happy movie. It tells the story of a messy family. The film centralizes on Gilbert, on whom all the burdens of the family rest. The father is no longer with them; his story is slowly revealed throughout the film. Since the loss of her husband, Gilbert's Momma simply sits on the sofa and eats, frozen in her hurt. Her youngest son is extremely mentally disabled. On top of caring for both mother and brother, Gilbert is the only capable son and is responsible for providing for the family, including two other sisters. Obviously, its a story full of ache.

But its so compelling, because every character is perfectly acted. They are beautiful, broken humans. I felt them! Maybe that's just little miss Taken Internally, but I was so involved. Every character is intricate and detailed, and at the same time so very understated and mild. Johnny Depp is a master, flat out. And Leo...well, he's unbelievable. Really, its inconceivable how phenomenally he plays Arnie, the handicapped boy. I was enthralled.

Only watch it if you're prepared to handle messy characters and lots of lost beauty. But maybe that's why I loved it...they were lost beauties, but they were trying, and wanting, so badly to regain what they had lost.

Movie Review: Burn After Reading

Burn After Reading

Starring: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand

I had pretty simple reasons for wanting to see this film; I love Brad Pitt and I'd always wanted to see a Cohen brothers film. I've been reading reviews on their movies for years, but never actually watched one, because they were all so dark! I almost always hate dark films.

Burn After Reading, though also dark, was also supposed to be a bit of a comedy, and starred my beloved Brad, so I decided to give it a try.

Bad plan.

I laughed a total of three times-solely when Brad was shown in a brilliant performance as a gym-instructor simpleton.

The rest of the film misery. It told an involved story intertwining 6 middle-aged people, all going through some kind of crisis.

George Clooney's character is a cowardly philanderer trying to keep all his middle-aged women pleased with him at once.

Tilda Swinton's character is a snappy, sour woman who despises her husband and actually believe's Clooney's character will eventually marry her.

John Malkovich's character, Tilda's husband, has been recently fired and is furious with the world.

Frances McDormand's character is a pathetic single woman also working at the gym, and also one of Clooney's lovers, hoping to get plastic surgery and reinvent herself.

Somehow, when Frances and Brad find what they think is a CD containing high-security CIA information (Tilda stole the information from her husband's computer in an attempt to get a divorce, and accidentally left it at the gym), they try to use their find to sell it for money. Through a series of stupid confusions, half of the characters end up dead by the end of the movie, in a frantic chase for what is really nothing but Malkovich's bitter memiors of his job.

The movie ends with two CIA agents, trying to understand the whole mess and put it behind them permanently, sitting in an empty office.

"And what have we learned from all this?" one asks. The other shakes his head, replying

"Jesus Fucking Christ. I have no idea."

Which pretty sums up the whole movie. 1 2/3 hours of selfish, shallow, foul-mouthed idiots.

I will admit I loved Brad's character in it, and almost found it worth it for him. He plays a quirky, loveably loser with such believable facial expressions and manner of talking I swear everybody will think of someone they know. Just him constantly chewing gum made me laugh.

I have no idea what Ethan and Joel Cohen were thinking, I suppose to expose the darkness and gloom of middle-aged bitterness. I'm sorry for them.

Movie Review: Becoming Jane

Movie Review: Becoming Jane

Starring: Anne Hathaway and James McAvoy

If you don't love Jane Austen, there really is no point to seeing this movie, I don't think. Some may say that the story is fascinating and valuable without any interest in Jane Austen, but I think if you don't love Jane, you'll just be angry at this sad story.

I think its fair to warn everybody that Becoming Jane doesn't end like you want it to; any Austen fan would know this from the beginning, anyway.
Jane never found her Mr. Darcy. But what was it, then, that led her to write such clever, beautiful, and happy novels? Becoming Jane shows exactly how her writing developed, what led her to write what she did, and all she went through and sacrificed.

I loved the film for Jane's snappy dialogue, so cleverly showing Jane's talent for words in her conversation. Its a prim, stylized speech, much like Pride and Prejudice, where the audience has to pay close attention to understand the underlying meanings of the spoken words.

I also loved the way the director had of weaving in scenes and moments that later showed up in her books: a smarting conversation during a country ball, Darcy's run through the rain, etc. Watch carefully!

The movie is well done, with talented actors and actresses bringing these people of the past to life. The settings and costuming is fascinating of course, with all the old fashioned trimmings.

If you can take the sadness, do watch and enjoy. Otherwise, save your movie time for something easier on the heart.
Personally, I find the happy ending in the loveliness of her novels, that have lasted all the way into this new decade.

Movie Review: Grey Gardens

Grey Gardens

Starring:

Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore

In some strange way, I really liked this movie. It was so eccentric, it was almost beautiful...except for the fact it was so pathetic it made you hurt inside. Grey Gardens is the name of the estate Big Edie and Little Edie, aunt and niece of Jackie O, live at. They begin the movie full of life and spunk, though often they don't make a lot of sense. Little Edie, especially, is so quirky its almost hard to believe she could be a real character. Drew is somehow luminous despite Little Edie's insanity, and plays her character phenomenally.

The ladies are painful to watch. They're blind, silly women, and half of me was furious with them. But on the other hand...somehow...on the other hand, they are so original. Maybe it was their love for music, or their ridiculous flamboyant outfits. You can't hep but care about them.

Its a crumbling story that follows Big and Little Edie as their lives absolutely disintegrate. Nothing ever really happens- in fact, most of the movie they stay hidden away in Grey Gardens as it turns into a hell hole. They are stuck in the past, stuck with their hurts, and not even sure how to honestly help each other. Big Edie's cheating husband separates from her, and Little Edie cannot find a man she loves more than she loves dancing (which, by the way, she is sadly and sweetly horrible at). As they both go into old age, eccentric is really the only way to describe them.

Three things make this movie fascinating: One, it is a true story, based on all events of these women's lives and a documentary made about them. If it had not been real, it would have been ridiculous. But the fact that it was real made it heartwrenching. Two, the music is tender and old fashioned and whimsical. I absolutely loved the soundtrack-it was so emotional, and so fitting. Some of the best scenes are Big Edie singing, and begging Little Edie to "soft shoe." Finally, I loved the crazy bravery of Little Edie. Her facial espressions, movements, talking voice, ideas, outfits-everything was just a little off. It was captivating.

Its over, and I still can't tell you if I loved it or hated it. But watch it- i promise its strangely moving, and it'll give you plenty to think about, and some sweet melodies.

"Movie Girl"

Having no friends turns you into a movie watching freak. After work, everyone else drives off to their parties and local bars, stays out till 3 am and stumbles home drunk. I clock out, blow a kiss to Jared, and drive home to a movie. Sunny started calling me Movie Girl because every night when I leave, I sit on his desk while he counts out my cash to remit for the day. I tell him about my life, and he tells me about his. We compare school schedules, and I tell him he's my hero: Sunny just turned 2o, but he's manager. He works 45 hours a week, works full time, and just bought a house for himself and his widowed mother. Anyway, he always asks me what movie I'm gonna watch. Usually I go to the library before work to pick out my selection of the day.

I have discovered I have no patience for serious movies. Real life is serious. When I want a movie, I want an escape. I want to see what the world should be like, and go to bed with happy thoughts. I don't want to be shown how dark and gloomy everything is. I'm not saying I'll never watch a serious movie, I do. But they have to be really, really good. Gorgeous cinematography, heartfelt acting, and a really thoughtful message. If I'm not gonna get these things from a serious movie, I don't wanna waste my time.

I'd rather sink into a silly, sweet, happy movie. My brother looks for "colorful" movies...I'm with him. The movies with bright sets: too green grass, too blue ocean, too fantastically color coordinated outfits. I like the movies where they break out into perfect dance steps, or start singing and the whole town joins in. I like movies where the guy and the girl just look like they're gonna live happy. I love clever movies where everybody has the perfect snappy response.

Don't give me something too serious- I live in the real world for that. If I'm gonna watch a movie, sitting all alone on the couch, I want it to make me smile.

Just a few classic smile-worthy movies (many more to come!):

The Sound Of Music

Knight's Tale

Truman Show

High School Musical

King And I

Benny and Joon